i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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