"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
ugly people sure do ruin things
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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