Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
