three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
