Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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