You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
