Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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