Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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