She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
