dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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