I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she peed on how many people?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize