But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
3 2 1 whiskey
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
