Someone shit on the floor
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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