Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
