So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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