3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
