:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
