I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
