Me too!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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