You're completely useless in the revolution.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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