This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
