I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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