You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
