i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize