smell my finger.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
