Tell her she can't have a vagina
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
