Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
