I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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