bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
