Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
