HIV tests are more positive than that guy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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