Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
