can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
