you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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