Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize