if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Come see our sink grown plant.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
