I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
