Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she peed on how many people?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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