that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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