I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
