my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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