then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
