if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
