VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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