Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
