I can tuck mytits in my pants
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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