I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
