yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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