I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I lost the right to judge tonight
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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