I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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