Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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