and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
