A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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