Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize