You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
