Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
