nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
