It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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