I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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