I'm jealous of your bromance
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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