90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
