You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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