thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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