Swine flu. Run for my life!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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