you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish I only lived at night.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
