did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
